Tuesday, 28 July 2015

A brush with irrelevance.

or, is it a plane?

Do you think we can do this justice?

I doubt it, but I’ve drunk two glasses of Faustino V a Rioja Rosé to try and help.

I thought you were a red man.

I got distracted, by the bottle and the heat.


I’m a red man.

So are we going to do it  any justice?

Hard to say - it’s a rambling tale that starts in a sitting room in Manchester in 1974 and ends in a cinema in France in 2015 with very little in between – but we should try.

So, let’s start with the sitting room. There was a poster right?

Yep, Klint’s The Kiss, it belonged to Helen.

Ah ha! Did you?


Kiss her?

I wanted to, but…

Ok, so….?

I didn’t know anything about art, the only poster I had was of a nun pulling up her stocking.

I know the one!

So this was my first brush with art, if you’ll excuse the pun.

The film begins with a brush doesn’t it?

Almost; it begins with a piece of gold leaf, but the brush comes very quickly.

Did you sit at the front?

Third row, but there was no-one in front of me.

That way you can pretend the cinema, the film, is all just for you. Can’t you?

You can; have I ever told you about when I went to see Kings of The Road in an art centre in Wales also back in the seventies?

The Wim Wenders film?

The very one.

Which begins with the guy standing by the river and the sound of a car in the distance and eventually the car rushes past and plunges into the river?

Great opening.

If you tell me, will it add anything to this unfolding tale of Gustav Klint?

It will add some irrelevance.

Go ahead then.

Well I sat in the third row, no one in front of me – as I did tonight – with my first wife, which I didn’t tonight.

Hang on, how many wives have you got?

Just the one.

So this one, the first, was…?



It didn’t last.

Ah. Anything to do with Wales?


I’m lost.

Me too.

What happened in the sitting room in Wales?

The sitting room was in Manchester, not Wales, didn't i say that earlier? Anyway..... nothing happened; just the poster.

Ok, what happened in the cinema in Wales?

Doors behind us constantly opening and closing; crashing and banging.

What was going on?

I don’t know, we were watching the film.

Why are you telling me this?

Because it all happened early on in a very long film, and when it ended we turned around and the place was empty.

The cinema WAS just for you.


What happened in France?

The others stayed.

Good film then?

So was the film in Wales , it was just that the audience was divided - them and us. I think they had been attracted by the poster. In France, at the beginning, I wasn’t sure.. I thought Helen Mirren was trying to hard to look sexy and the dialogue was clunky.

Ok. And she played the niece?

Maria Altman.

Ah. There lies the rub.

Gustav Klint!

Same painting?

No, but that would have been sweet.

Are you recommending this celluloid excursion for others.

I am.

Thank you.

You’re welcome. (Editorial Note X)

Monday, 27 July 2015

A sticky book-burning.

a fool's fire

Were you cold last night?

To be honest; yes, a little. I was on the verge of drawing a blanket over me but the cat ‘s companionship delayed me.

The fire had fooled us.

‘Twas beautiful.

Were you worried that the forest would aflame?

No, do you think I should have been?

One reads of such things.

My book got burnt, look.

Ooh, how will Jimmy-who-is-also-Bart (editorial note t) react to that? It was he who lent it.

I’m not sure; I’ve never burnt one of his books before.

Are you a known book burner then?

There is some prior history, yes, (editorial note t) but sticky fingers are a more frequent problem.

An album by the Stones I believe.

Recently re-issued.

And Mick's birthday yesterday to boot.

Sunday, 26 July 2015

Anchored to a post.

 reggae reggae sauce on the editorial desk

Have we discussed such things already?

I’m not sure, I feel like we have but was it here or just at the editorial desk?

There’s an editorial desk?

There has to be.


There’s an editorial team, they have to have a desk. No team is worth it’s salt without a desk.

We had better check then.

And how do you propose to do that?

We could cast our minds back.

We might loose them.

We could tie one end of our thoughts to a post before we cast.

How about this one?


Saturday, 25 July 2015

Memories of Mermaids.

only ever meant to last the night?

When we started ‘this’ back in the day….

A long time now. (Editorial note T)


Yes. You were saying?

Yeah, sorry… I was lost there for a moment.

Where did you go, I could see that you had a sunny shadow passed over you.

A sunny shadow, can such a thing exist?

If you can, then I don’t see why not.

Like a bright cloud?

Something like that.

It was cloudy back in the day.

It always has been; clouds don’t go anywhere, they just become sea memories.

Sea memories?

Like mermaids.


Pensive today?




Friday, 24 July 2015

A Soggy Jubbly.

non-soggy roundabout

Do you remember when ring pull cans had rings that you pulled and they came off?

I do, you could wear them like a ring.

Can’t do that today.

I guess it was seen as an environmental improvement, but it was a severe stab in the back for aluminium ring-pull ring wearers.

I think they always had constituted a disappearing breed even without the environmental step.

I s’pose.

Anyway; cutting to the chase as I think we should, can you remember what there was before?

Before the detachable ring-pull ring?


There were those bottles with the screw in stopper, ‘member them?


Might have been Whites.

The bottle was brown.

Might not have been Lemonade.

It was a long time ago that’s for sure ……… wasn’t there anything in-between the stopper and the ring-pull ring?

A twist cap?

Not sure, that might have been after. I never could twist them anyway; I thought they were useless., whereas it was in fact me.

I still can’t, I had to hand my beer to Jimmy who is really Bart only 24 hours ago.

Did we drink anything before the ring-pull ring?

Unfrozen ice-pops.

What was the point of that? Surely they were better frozen?

MilkyWay chocolate bars were, we used to ask the corner shop to put them in the freezer  on the way to school in the morning so that we could buy them frozen on the way home in the afternoon.

That’s it! I remember!! Jumblies!! Jooblies! Something like that… in the triangular carton where you had to rip the corner off and it went all soggy as you sucked!

Those were the days.

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