I doubt it, but I’ve drunk two glasses of
Faustino V a Rioja Rosé to try and help.
I thought you were a red man.
I got distracted, by the bottle and the
I’m a red man.
So are we going to do itany justice?
Hard to say - it’s a rambling tale that
starts in a sitting room in Manchester in 1974 and ends in a cinema in France
in 2015 with very little in between – but we should try.
So, let’s start with the sitting room.
There was a poster right?
Yep, Klint’s The Kiss, it belonged to
Ah ha! Did you?
I wanted to, but…
I didn’t know anything about art, the only
poster I had was of a nun pulling up her stocking.
I know the one!
So this was my first brush with art, if
you’ll excuse the pun.
The film begins with a brush doesn’t it?
Almost; it begins with a piece of gold
leaf, but the brush comes very quickly.
Did you sit at the front?
Third row, but there was no-one in front of
That way you can pretend the cinema, the
film, is all just for you. Can’t you?
You can; have I ever told you about when I
went to see Kings of The Road in an art centre in Wales also back in the
The Wim Wenders film?
The very one.
Which begins with the guy standing by the
river and the sound of a car in the distance and eventually the car rushes past
and plunges into the river?
If you tell me, will it add anything to
this unfolding tale of Gustav Klint?
It will add some irrelevance.
Go ahead then.
Well I sat in the third row, no one in
front of me – as I did tonight – with my first wife, which I didn’t tonight.
Hang on, how many wives have you got?
Just the one.
So this one, the first, was…?
It didn’t last.
Ah. Anything to do with Wales?
What happened in the sitting room in Wales?
The sitting room was in Manchester, not Wales, didn't i say that earlier? Anyway..... nothing happened; just the poster.
Ok, what happened in the cinema in Wales?
Doors behind us constantly opening and
closing; crashing and banging.
What was going on?
I don’t know, we were watching the film.
Why are you telling me this?
Because it all happened early on in a very
long film, and when it ended we turned around and the place was empty.
The cinema WAS just for you.
What happened in France?
The others stayed.
Good film then?
So was the film in Wales , it was just that the audience was divided - them and us. I think they had been attracted by the poster. In France, at the beginning, I wasn’t sure.. I thought Helen
Mirren was trying to hard to look sexy and the dialogue was clunky.
Ok. And she played the niece?
Ah. There lies the rub.
No, but that would have been sweet.
Are you recommending this celluloid
excursion for others.